Pages

Monday, October 10, 2022

Things the Kids Say: Episode 18

"Has anyone we know been to jail? Like John Cena or Grandpa?"

-Eva

--------------------------------------------------

Me: We need to obey the laws so we don't go to jail.

Eva: Meh. I'd be fine going to jail. I hear the food is free there.

-----------------------------------------------------

"My life has been horrible ever since I stopped twerking."

-Nicky

-----------------------------------------------------

Me: Would you like to wear clean clothes to school today? It seems like you've been wearing those shorts for a few days.

Eva: No, thank you.

-----------------------------------------------------

"Some people in my class don't have stress problems, but I was born into a family with stress problems. I mostly get them from my dad."

-Eva

-----------------------------------------------------

"Lydia wasn't at church today because she is hurt, but I can't remember what happened. She either broke her arm or got bit by a snake."

-Eva

(Lydia had a stomach ache)

-----------------------------------------------------

Zoe: Dad, what's the score at the football game?

Scotty: 0-15

Zoe: Wow, the cheerleaders must be doing a terrible job!

-----------------------------------------------------

"We're playing managers. I'm the manager, and Eva is the step-manager."

-Zoe

-----------------------------------------------------

"It smells like Florida here."

-Zoe, in Florida

-----------------------------------------------------

Me: Thanks for remembering to clean up your dishes.

Zoe: It wasn't my pleasure.

-----------------------------------------------------

Eva: I hate Chinese food.

Me: You just asked me five minutes ago to take you to Panda Express!

Eva: That's Utah food. Duh.

-----------------------------------------------------

"I'm not interested in cleaning up."

-Eva

-----------------------------------------------------

"There's a man with no head what* drives a bus, and I just saw him, and I know he's real because I read about him in a magazine** while I was pooping."

-Eva

*She always says 'what' instead of 'who' or ‘that.’

**The only magazines in our bathroom are the Church magazines

-----------------------------------------------------

"It sounds like death."

-Eva, waiting in line for Expedition Everest at Animal Kingdom

-----------------------------------------------------

Eva: Mom, why won't you go?

Me: Because the light is red.

Eva: So, who cares?

Me: I have to obey the traffic laws, or I'll get a ticket.

Eva: Good. Then you can use it to go to Disneyland!

Me: It's a different kind of ticket! A bad kind! A ticket means I broke the law, and I would have to pay $250.

Eva: So the same price as Disneyland? No big deal. Just go


No comments:

Post a Comment