September Writing Challenge - Prompt #13:
Marriage
Many of you were here with me when I went back to school and finished my degree in marriage and family relations. It’s been five years since I graduated. What have I done with myself? Well, nothing. But that’s not the point. I’m just happy I made through school with four kids! I maintain that it was God’s will for me, and if there’s more to do - such as pursuing further education or moving into some kind of career, He will push me in that direction. But for now, He’s just like, “Parent these children.”
Sometimes people ask me if my degree has helped me be a better wife or mother. In all honesty, it probably has, but I can attest that having a marriage and family degree doesn't a perfect wife or mother make. I often joke that all it did was teach me everything I'm doing wrong. And there's a whole lot of truth to that!
Another thing people often wonder is what options are available with a degree in marriage and family. Unfortunately, it’s an area that usually benefits more from a Master’s than a Bachelor’s, so for most careers in the field, I would need to have my Master’s degree as well as additional licensing. But some of the careers people commonly pursue in the field are social work, child life specialist, life coach, marriage and family therapy, family life education, and family advocacy.
I confess, I’m always a little excited when we go to the ER with our children, and I get to see the child life specialists in action. There’s a part of me that wants to do that when I grow up, but then I realize they’re all in their early 20’s, and when I’m finally grown up, I’ll be at least 60, and I don’t think they’ll want me at that point.
Another thing I would love to do is teach marriage preparation courses. I actually paid my fees to become certified to teach a Christian-based marriage prep course right after I graduated, and then I never followed through. I often wonder if I'm still eligible, or if too much time has passed. (Note to self: find out). It's not something I would ever do to make money; it's something that I would do because I firmly believe in marriage preparation. I just happened to take a marriage prep class, myself, in junior college on a whim, and I firmly believe that class has helped my marriage be successful to this day. One thing the classes provided for me was the ability to assess whether I was actually ready for marriage and how compatible Scotty and I were. My marriage can't speak for the population at large, but research can! And research suggests that couples who participate in some form of premarital education report more effective communication, better conflict management skills, and better relationship quality overall than those who don't.
I plan to encourage all of my children to take marriage preparation classes of some kind (unless they are defiant young adults, in which case I will pay their most influential friends to talk them into taking marriage preparation classes while I, myself, discourage them. Wink, wink).
I am fortunate to have a very good marriage. We have our disagreements and our problems, for sure. And we have some patterns that, if left unchecked, could become unhealthy, but overall, Scotty and I work very well together. We don’t just love each other, we also like each other, and we are truly friends. I have to attribute a lot of our success to Scotty, though, because he’s super chill, and he isn’t selfish. He’s pretty easy to be married to. I, on the other hand… can be a little more complicated.
My heart breaks for the difficult circumstances that come with many marriages. While I can’t sympathize with a lot of the harder things from my own marriage, I can sympathize from a child’s perspective. I spent over 20 years of my life with a step-dad who made our family life extremely hard. That’s part of what has made me so interested in studying marriage and family. I wanted some education that could make the circumstances in my family of creation different than those from my family of origin. If I could give the world a gift, I would give everyone a good marriage.
I also want to buy the world a Coke, but I’m gonna focus on one dream at a time.
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