Less Than a Week Til School (and ten other random facts)

Fact #1: The other day I saw something fascinating while I was driving through my neighborhood. A lady was walking her dog, and the dog stopped on someone's lawn to relieve itself. The lady squatted down and got right up in her dog's business. From my position at a four-way stop, I watched and wondered what on earth she was doing. Then I noticed she was holding a red solo cup between her dog's legs. 

Friends! I saw a dog pee into a cup held by its owner. Now, I'm no dog owner, so there's a lot I don't know. But... Is this normal? 

Fact #2: Zoe is obsessed with ramen. She wants it every day for lunch (I don't let her have it every day, but she would if she could). I recently gave her ramen-making lessons because I am so sick of cooking ramen. This made me think about how everyone likes their ramen a certain way. I make it like soup. But some people drain the water out and just eat the noodles. That's how my babysitter fed it to us when I was a kid. 

How do you like your ramen?

Fact #3: Last year I had a really good crop of little jacks in my garden, so I put them around my house for fall. 

The other day, Zoe found this:

It was in a toy bin.

Fact #4: Sometimes I watch shows or read books where it's pretty clear that a character is going to die, and I get impatient and think, "Oh my gosh, just die already!" 

I did this with Jack in This is Us (which I quit watching) and again with Walter in A Million Little Things (which I also quit watching). 

I did this with a book the other day, and then the character didn't die, and I was so disappointed! Does this make me heartless?

Fact #5: I've learned many lessons as a parent, one being: if you have a kid playing at your house, and you tell their mom that everything's fine, and everyone is playing well, and they're welcome to stay for another hour, things will immediately go south, and it will be the longest hour of your life. 

Never extend a play date when "everything's fine." Because that's when things turn.

Fact #6: I've always been a little paranoid of being on a hidden camera show. I don't want to be Candid Camera-ed, Punk'd, or Impractical Joker-ed. I recently found out that Nicky has the same concern. We were at Walmart, and there was a dollar on the ground. No one was around, and Nicky refused to pick it up because he was too afraid he was being set up. He told me about the dollar, and I said, "Just go pick it up!" and he said, "Why don't you go pick it up?" But I couldn't... because hidden cameras.

Thus, neither of us is a dollar richer. But someone else is because the dollar was gone the next time we walked by.

Fact #7: A few things I'm not going to miss when my kids go back to school...

• The sounds of them playing Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza (constant slapping on the kitchen table)
• Having the car radio and the Alexa hijacked over and over all day
• Daisy saying, "Teehee!" after everything. "Teehee! Teehee! Teehee!"
• "Nunya!" "Your mom!" "Sheesh!"
• Being asked, "Can I play Roblox?" and "Can I watch YouTube?" every hour all week long (even though they're only allowed to play Roblox and watch YouTube for half an hour on Fridays so they know the answer will always be "no!")

Fact #8: I saw a Victoria's Secret bag for sale at the thrift store last week. 

Fact #9: The other day I was playing Super Scrabble (purchased from the thrift store, thankyouverymuch) with Daisy, and I had a B and an R on my rack, and then I drew this in order:

Fact #10: I played "britt," because, when your name is a valid Scrabble word, and you have the chance to play it, you gotta do it even if it’s not super high points, but I refuse to go to nursing school despite what the Scrabble Gods seem to want from me.