Currently {October 2021 Edition}

Reading:

Craving: a capastrami sandwich from Capriotti's.

Needing: some big bowls. I had a bunch of big, plastic bowls I bought from Walmart for a party 13 years ago. They were $1, and they lasted forever! I'm down to my last one, and it's cracking. I went to Walmart today to buy some more, but they were out of stock, so I need to check out another location. Like my red bucket-y thing (also from Walmart), I use the bowls for everything. 

Daydreaming about: recipes. I spend way too much time thinking about all the things I want to cook. There just aren't enough meals in a day to do all the cooking I would like to do. 

Watching:

I just finished watching The Starling on Netflix the other day. It took me about four days. I don't know why, but I can't sit through a movie. I can watch the equivalent in TV episodes, but I rarely watch a movie in one sitting.

Dreading: some upcoming social obligations that require me to be in awkward company. 

Wearing: my usual uniform of stretchy pants and a t-shirt. 

Listening to: a Mat and Savanna Shaw playlist (currently transitioning from "Somewhere Out There" to "You Are the Reason" - which is one of my favorites. Other favorite - "Come What May").

I'm also working my way through the audiobook of Anne Frank as part of my goal to read ten "school" books this year. 

Singing: "You Are the Reason." Obviously. 

Buying: costume components for Nicky for the school musical. 

Annoyed by: the ever increasing amount of red light running. It's getting so bad around here. I easily see 5-10 cars running red lights every day, and not just in the "oops, I misjudged the yellow light" way. It's the "holy crap you almost killed someone" way, and it infuriates me. 

Playing: Wingspan on my phone - all day every day. 

(Okay, not all day but many times a day).

Procrastinating: calling a credit card company to ask them to remove a late fee. My payment got there the day after it was due, and they're usually good to remove it. I just don't want to do the work of calling. 

I'm also procrastinating getting my kids' flu shots. 

Loving: cool mornings and evenings. 

Laughing about: treating myself to a facial mask. 

I slathered the clay substance on my face and then went to visit each of my children in their beds to say prayers and tell them goodnight.

Every single one of them startled when they saw my face. Then in their prayers, they said, “Please bless that Mom won’t give me nightmares.”

Worried about: all the parenting things. Where does one begin?

Eating: leftover food from our trip to Saint George. That sounds gross, but I assure you, anything we are eating is safe. Like the syrup we had on our pancakes this morning. 

Struggling with: lack of ambition. Sometimes I wonder if I'm supposed to be pursuing something greater, but I don't feel a pull toward anything. My dreams consist of, "Yeah, that would be nice, but nah." 

Regretting: pulling the basil out of my garden last week because now I'm craving pesto pasta, and I feel like I shouldn't have to buy basil.

Feeling: a little burned out. Yesterday was a marathon day, and today started off with a marathon morning, but now everything is settled for a few hours, and I need to just... recover.

At the end of the day yesterday, when Eva finally stopped her nightly screaming routine and fell asleep, I just wanted to cry. Not necessarily out of sadness, but relief. I just needed to release. 

Grateful for: goodness.

I feel like I have to look harder for goodness right now than I have in the past, so I'm more grateful than ever when I find it. It's out there. It's just difficult to see it sometimes in our current circumstances. I have made drastic changes to my social media habits since the beginning of September, and it has made a huge difference.