An Old Dog Trying Old Tricks

September Writing Challenge - Prompt #11:

Try It

Zoe has been in a tumbling class in conjunction with her cheerleading for the past few months. I never did tumbling, but it was always my dream to be able to do back walkovers and back handsprings. I never had much flexibility in my back, though, so I never got to the point where I could do a very good walkover, and I was always too scared to do a back handspring on my own. I could do them with a spotter, but I couldn't get over the mental blocks to try them without support. My high school gym teacher was a gymnastics coach, and he worked with me for a while on back handsprings, and then he said, "You're on your own now. You can do it, you just won't!" and he was right. I never did it. 

When I was a dancer, I really wanted to be able to do a scorpion. 

With zero back flexibility, I had to work so hard. I would use a towel and wrap it around my ankle and pull my leg up. Then I would inch my hands as close as I could to my foot and hold the pose as long as I could. I did this everyday for weeks until I got to the point where I could hold my foot without a towel. It was incredibly uncomfortable for me, but I was so proud of myself for being able to do it! Then I saw a photo of myself doing a scorpion, and I was so disappointed. I looked horrible! My back had no arch. It was like I'd gotten stuck in some weird pose as a result of an accident. There was nothing graceful about it. 

My poor daughters have been cursed with my lack of flexibility (their dad's genes don't help much, either). Each of them has been in dance since age three, but after all these years, they are still like 2x4's. Other girls slide into splits or fall into back bends like it's nothing. Not the Brittish girls. We can't even touch our toes. We make dance look painful.

With Zoe being in tumbling, Daisy has gotten a little jealous, and they've become a bit competitive. I try to keep it in check, but sibling rivalry can be hard to curb. They've both been racing to be able to do a back kick-over (back walkovers would be ideal, but kick-overs come first). They started from doing bridges from the ground, but now both of them can do a back bend. I'm super proud of them for being able to do this. They both worked so hard to get there. Now they are both on the brink of kicking over, but Zoe has the advantage of being in a tumbling class.  Zoe has been practicing her kick-overs on a wedged mat for the past couple of weeks. Last night, she did it on the floor for the first time. I wish I could have caught a picture of her face after she kicked over. She was so shocked and proud of herself. It was the cutest thing. 

Watching her try over and over again, I realized I was shifting my body as if my movements could force her over. It was kind of like playing old school Nintendo and moving the controller around like it would help your game. Then I started thinking about my own tumbling abilities. I remember attempting a cartwheel a few years ago and being completely shocked that my body couldn't do it. In my mind, sure! I can cartwheel all day! But in real life, I can't do it anymore. My girls always ask me to play hands up, stands up with them, and I don't even dare. I'll surely break my neck. 

But today, in the privacy of my own home, I decided to see if I can still do a bridge. I know a backbend ain't happening... like, ever again, but surely I could do a really bad bridge from the ground. 

So I tried it. 

In my bedroom.

With no eyes to see.  

That wasn't good for my self-esteem, I'll tell you what. I just sorta laid there with my butt up and my weight on my shoulders while trying to figure out how to even get my hands where they were supposed to be. 

Since I was already suffering private humiliation, I decided I might as well try the splits, too. I don't know how long it's been since I did the splits, but, of course, in my head, I can do them. 

You guys! I'm not as far as I would have thought. I am pretty close on my left splits, and I bet if I started stretching, I could do them in a week. At age 37, I'm not sure where that gets you in life, as there are a lot of other skills that are more pertinent at this point in adulthood, but heck! Maybe it's good to have a party trick. If nothing else, maybe I can embarrass my kids. "You stop that right now, or I'm gonna bust out the splits!" 

They'll be all, "No, Mom! No!"

And I'll be all, "I'm going! This is happening!"

And BAM! 

(I'm gonna try it!)