Britt the Grown-Up

I've realized something lately... 

I'm a real life grown-up. 

I feel like I should still be a grown-up in training. There should be someone mentoring me or supervising me, but no. This is it. I'm a grown-up. 

Here are some things I've noticed about being a grown-up:

People don't pat me on the back anymore for doing grown-up things. 

When I was 27, and I did grown-up things, I got praised for it. I was treated like I was very responsible, and my elders would say things like, "You are wise beyond your years!" I could pay off a medical bill and feel like I had accomplished a great, grown-up thing. 

Now when I pay something off, it's just what grown-ups do. And I'm a grown-up. So I do it. 

A lot of important people are my peers.

Doctors, teachers, politicians, and Church leaders used to all be older than me. Now many of them are the same age, and some (especially teachers) are younger than me. This has been such a weird life transition for me because I look at these people and think they're not old enough to do these jobs because I'm not old enough to do these jobs! 

I'm not "the young one" anymore.

For a long time, I was always the young one in adult groups. I was the young one at work. I was the young one in my church callings. In hindsight, I know that it was the naivety of youth that helped me thrive in those opportunities.

Now that I'm a real grown-up, and I have more life experience, I hold more baggage and am more damaged. I feel less capable than I felt ten years ago.

I am not cool.

I don't know if I was ever "cool," but I know that I'll definitely never be cool again. In fact, I don't even know if "cool" is a thing anymore. I think only old, out-of-date grown-ups use the word "cool." And since I'm a grown-up, I don't know the current slang, so I still use adjectives the dictionary way.

Sick means you have a cold. Basic means fundamental. Karen and Felicia are names.

I miss the "good old days."

I have times I look back on as the "good old days," and I miss them and wish things could be like that again. Sometimes I ache for things of the past. I never thought I'd be this way.

So here I am.

A grown-up.

With my grown-up responsibilities, my grown-up body, and my grown-up problems. I'm not really sure how I got here.