Coronavirus Coping

It's another melatonin night in the Brittish household. While I'm waiting for things to kick in (if they kick in - I'm still not sure if melatonin works on me), I want to write. The problem is, the coronavirus is occupying my mind so heavily that it blocks out everything else. And I don't want to write about the coronavirus right now!

So I will just say these few things:

Overall, I feel like my family and I are handling things very well.

BUT... I have been in a constant fog for the past two and a half weeks. My mind is a jumbled mess. I can't focus. Half the time, I don't even know when someone is talking to me. I've also had a headache for weeks. It's not a really bad one, but it's always there. I rub peppermint oil on my temples pretty regularly right now. I keep trying to read, but it's pretty pointless.

I can't read.

I am 70 days soda sober, and everyday I have to remind myself that I've made it this far, and I shouldn't give up. Deep down, I just want to guzzle all the caffeinated soda on the face of the earth. But even deeper down, I know it wouldn't be worth it. I've been here, like, 87 times before. I know what happens if I drink a soda.

I can't read, and I can't drink soda. 

Today I cried, but it wasn't coronavirus crying. It was "other stuff" crying. I was hoping that it would transition to coronavirus crying, but it hasn't happened yet. I feel like I need to be alone and cry like a baby for ten minutes for coronavirus purposes. I have gotten teary eyed twice in the past two weeks, but it wasn't enough. Nothing flowed. I need tears to flow. I need to shake for a little while and get all puffy-eyed and snotty. But it just isn't happening. At some point, I need to break down. It would be healthy.

I can't read, I can't drink soda, and I can't cry.

In other news... I ordered another board game. If my usual coping mechanisms aren't seeing me through, I might as well dabble in some new ones. I'll try to keep my board game purchases to one per week.