My body language, in general, isn't great. I'm an arm folder (it's comfortable for me), and I turn away from people (usually in trying to direct my breath away from them - just in case I'm not Colgate fresh). But my face is my biggest problem. It gets me in trouble all the time.
I have some legit RBF (that's 'resting bitch face' for those of you who might not know), which means that my relaxed face is, well, pretty bitchy. I believe it comes from both sides of my family, so I was genetically destined to look ornery all the time. In my wedding photos, my grandparents look like deadly lasers could shoot out of their eyes at any moment. Such a joyous occasion! And I resemble them in every way.
In addition to my naturally moody-looking face, I can have a bit of a snide tone at times, but it's not always intentional. I can be talking about puppies with the softest of sentiments and still sound snotty.
I’m also very gifted eye-roller. I remember the first time I was called out for it. I was giving my step-mom some serious attitude. I don't know what the issue was, but I remember her being really frustrated with me and saying, "Don't roll your eyes at me!" I didn't know what "roll your eyes" meant, so I rolled my eyes and said, "I don't even know what that means!" in my sassiest tone. In the 5 minutes following that statement, I rolled my eyes enough times that my step-mom was able to easily point out what it meant.
Many years later, I caused a family scandal with my eye-rolling. When Scotty was leaving on his mission, I went to the airport with his family. His step-brother Riley (about age 13) and his step-sister Chelsea (age 16 - my age) were having some disagreements. Riley was taking a video. I was sitting next to Chelsea, and in the video, you see Chelsea trying to get Riley to stop filming his shoes. She says, "Mom, he's video-taping his shoes!" and then you see me in the seat next to her giving the biggest eye-roll of all time in response.
After Scotty left, the family watched the video, and Chelsea saw my eye-roll on tape. For the next two years, while Scotty was gone to South Carolina, my eye-rolling at Chelsea was a hot topic of conversation, and I had no idea. When Scotty came home from his mission, everyone kept talking about how I rolled my eyes at Chelsea. They made me watch the video. It was a pretty hefty eye-roll, I confess.
Years later, Scotty and I went to Lagoon (a Utah amusement park) with a couple of our friends. While we were in line, I was talking about my opinion of a movie when suddenly, a Lagoon employee who was walking past stopped and said, "Wow! You've got some real attitude, don't you?" I was taken aback and a little confused, so I said, "What?!?" and she proceeded to tell me that she saw me roll my eyes and that I have serious attitude. It was enough to stop her in her tracks so she could let me know. I told her I was just talking about a movie with my friend, and she said, "Wow, it must have been some movie to make your face do that." I don't even remember what the movie was, but that's when I realized that I roll my eyes during everyday conversation, not just when I'm annoyed. Eye-rolling, for me, comes with every emotion.
This was further realized when I enrolled in a public speaking class in college. I had to do my presentations via video chat in front of my classmates. The speeches would be recorded live and then uploaded to my instructor. If you ever wanna feel self-conscious, watch a video of yourself giving a public speech. You'll see yourself in all sorts of new light. I never knew how often I touch my face, clear my throat, swipe my bangs, and say "you know." And even though I knew I had an eye-rolling problem, I didn't realize just how bad it was until I saw myself giving a speech on life skills learned through board games and saw my eyeballs about to fall out of my head.
One time, I had a lady pull over in front of my house and yell at me because she didn't like the way I was looking at her. Another time, a member of the stake presidency pulled me aside after a meeting because he noticed my somber expression while he was at the pulpit, and he thought he had upset me.
Do you see how my face gets me in trouble?
Since I know I have an ornery face, there are times I try to sit around looking pleasant. I turn my lips up in a slight smile and attempt to bat my eyes (hoping it adds a twinkle or something). You know what? It makes my face tired! And I have to think really hard to do it. Eventually I just have to allow everything fall into place or my cheeks will cramp.
Last Sunday, Nicky was messing around on Relative Finder, and he found that we are directly descended from William Brewster, who came over on the Mayflower in 1620. He is my 11th great-grandfather on my dad's side. He had children named Patience, Love, Fear, and Wrestling. But we come from the boring one: Jonathan.
The most interesting thing about Grandpa William is this artistic rendering of his face:
I wasn't kidding when I said it was a genetic problem.
That picture is so funny.
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