He Said, She Said, They Said, We Said

I keep several notes on my phone of things I want to remember. I have a list of books I want to read, a collection of ideas for blog posts that I never end up writing, a description of camp spots I want to reserve, and more. One of my notes is a list of funny things my kids say.

Please note that in this photo, I had just said, 'Everyone stick your heads

in so I can take a picture.' Three of four understood what I meant.

Here are some of the things they've said in 2019 that have made me laugh (my only regret is that a note on a phone can never capture the sound of their little voices - which is 75% of what makes the things they say so funny):

"I'm going to use this to exercise every day!" -Daisy, about her electric scooter

"I hate that I don't have ghost legs." -Nicky, after having to move his legs to let someone walk past our stadium seats

"Look out the window and close your eyes!" -Scotty, giving the kids advice on how to stay busy in the car

"Ew! My chicken has fish in it!" -Eva, when served fish sticks

"Another one rides the bus..." -Nicky, singing Queen

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Scotty: The only Fornite dance I know of is Yellow Mambo #5.

Nicky: You mean Orange Justice?

Scotty: Yeah, that one.

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"A boy at school has a crush on me even though I pick my nose!" -Zoe

"Mom, if you have a heart attack, can I have your phone?" -Daisy

"My favorite Holiday is No Going To Church Day." -Zoe

"I really like your eyebrows, Mom!" -Eva, while petting my eyebrows

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Me: Zoe, you need to put your dinner dishes away.

Zoe: I can't hear you, I have a banana in my ear.

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Daisy: Mom, is today the 25th?

Me: Nope, it's the 24th, and facebook says it's J-Lo's birthday.

Nicky: Really? It's J-Lo's birthday? Happy 100th birthday, Jennifer Lopez!

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Zoe: Eva, what should you do if you go camping, and there's a bear hiding in the bushes by your tent, and it wants to eat your family?

Eva: I will say, "Please give me my family back!"

Zoe: Wrong! You will say, "Please don't eat my family! I love them just the way they are!"

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"If there is a kid at school, and no one wants to be his friend because he smells like poop, you should go up to him and say, 'Don't worry! Sometimes I smell like poop, too!'" -Zoe

"Saying prayers is not really my thing." -Zoe