A Little Game

Sometimes when I'm using the internet, I like to make up little games.* For example, I play the birthday present game when I get emails from Groupon. I think of whose birthday I need to buy a gift for, and then I choose a random number and count to that Groupon offer and think that's what I'm getting so-and-so for her birthday. It often ends up being something like a monthly membership to a dog grooming facility - hence my joy in playing this game. I do the same thing with Amazon lightning deals "The 10th item is what I'm getting my mother-in-law for her birthday!" (Right this second, it's a drone. Exactly what she's always wanted!)

Another internet game I play is the "What If I Did Everything the Internet Told Me To" game. In this game, I pay close attention to all of the messages that are being sent my way (either through advertising or through posts I see) and consider what things I would have to do that day if I obeyed them all.

Right now I am sitting on the floor outside my bathroom while my girls take a detox bath (do I believe detox baths actually do anything? That's up for debate, but in trying to prevent or shorten winter sickness, I'm willing to experiment, so I've been making all my kids do detox baths once a week) so I thought this would be a great time to share with you a round of "What If I Did Everything the Internet Told Me To Right Now."

So here is what I would have to do:

• Try this new Amazon hack
• Join Beachbody on Demand
• Grow my hair out to my butt, not wash it for like a month, and buy a flat iron
• Invite myself to someone's wedding (what happened to inviting people to your wedding? Why are we now invited to invite ourselves to people's weddings?)
• Buy reusable period underwear
• Do Les Mills workouts
• Do a 30 day plank challenge
• Wear matching pajamas with my dog 
• Buy Flintsone vitamins
• Shop Fabletics
• Get a personal stylist
• Join Weight Watchers
• Buy a fancy water bottle
• Get a free e-book
• Workout on a treadmill
• Buy a diamond ring from the Shane Co. 

I set my timer for one minute and used my phone to scroll Facebook, check my email, and look at a blog. That's it. And I didn't even type everything I saw. 

Fun game, right?

Especially when you consider how many messages I was just bombarded with about my body. Imagine what would be on this list if I'd spent ten minutes on my phone instead of one!

(Which I do repeatedly... all day... so I'm no phone saint).

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find myself a dog.

*One of my favorite games to play in high school with my friends was when we would say, "This is yours and ______'s song" (and we would insert a boy's name - either a total hottie that we were in love with, or one of the worst guys in our school), and then we would randomly select a radio station. Great fun! Great fun!