Trophies

This week has been rough, and it's only Wednesday,* so I'm sure there's more to come. I've fallen behind on everything, and I need to reward myself for the little things so I can stay afloat. I've decided to award myself figurative trophies for the following accomplishments (not real trophies cuz ain't nobody got room for those):

Trophy #1

Awarded to: Britt

For volunteering in Eva's classroom for three hours while Eva refused to follow directions from the teacher, ran around the classroom with three adults chasing her, emptied an entire bottle of hand sanitizer, and repeatedly clawed her mother's arms with fingernails of death.

Trophy #2

Awarded to: Britt

For having to clean lotion out of Eva's toys, wash a dry erase marker beard off her face, soak baking soda in her stinky shoes, vacuum up her pixie stick mess, vacuum up her cotton candy mess, clean something red and sticky out of her kitchen set, scrape stickers off her floor, and scrub the curdled milk out of her 9,000 sippy cups.

Trophy #3

Awarded to: Britt

For riding her bike to pick up Zoe from school, nearly getting hit by a car, having incredibly tired legs from pulling 70 pounds of children uphill in a bike trailer, and stopping at the park so the kids could poop.

Trophy #4

Awarded to: Britt

For finally throwing out the 10 balls of pizza dough in her freezer cuz let's be honest, it's cheaper to buy pizza than to buy pizza ingredients, and she was never really going to make homemade pizza to begin with, so why keep up the act?

Trophy #5

Awarded to: Britt

For sorting through her children's shoes and throwing out several pairs that A) they never wear, B) don't fit, or C) are worn out.

Trophy #6

Awarded to: Britt

For not going to Chick-Fil-A for lunch yesterday even though the waffle fries were calling.

Trophy #7

Awarded to: Britt

For trimming Eva's bangs and not making her look like Lloyd Christmas for once.

Trophy #8

Awarded to: Britt

For making pumpkin cupcakes and only eating one.

This trophy has been revoked.

Trophy #9

Awarded to: Britt

For only swearing 94 times from Monday to Wednesday instead of the usual 100.

Trophy #10

Awarded to: Britt

For unclogging the toilet after an unnamed child left a large present behind.

*Now Thursday