The Incomplete List of Things I Don't Want to do Today

• Clean the house
• Get my tires rotated
• Go to the store for milk and butter
• Feed my kids
• Change out of my sweatpants and slippers
• Update my credit card information on something I ordered three weeks ago
• Sweep the kitchen floor
• Take the kids to get flu shots
• Do my hair (I slept on wet hair last night, so I look like Inigo Montoya)
• Brush my teeth
• Anything related to my Church calling (which I never want to do again)
• Exercise
• Pick my kids up from school
• Brush my teeth
• Buy gas
• Swallow pills
• Carry laundry up three flights of stairs
• Get out of my stinky brown La-Z-Boy

Things I'm Willing to Do:

• Eat
• Sleep
• Sit
• Read a book
• Spend a few hundred dollars online
• Marco Polo my friends a daily update on my chin zits
• Binge watch Call the Midwife
• Stare at rainbows (but only if I can see them from my recliner)