Sun Setting on September

For the month of September, I am using prompts from a project called 30 Days Hath September. Each day has a prompt for something to capture, something to collect, and something to record. The prompts are for a scrapbook album, but I thought they'd be wonderful blogging prompts as well. I am selecting one of the three prompts to write about each day. 

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September 30: The Sunset

{Sun setting behind me in the church parking lot}

Now that September is over, can I confess that this has been a hard month? I've had to face some changes that I'm not thrilled about, I had to do some things I didn't want to do, and I've been tired and overwhelmed. 

A week ago today, my grandma passed away kind of unexpectedly. I've been too stressed to grieve - I don't have time for it, and apparently, it takes time to acknowledge grief. I need a moment for things to settle so I can process this loss. I had the opportunity to speak at my grandma's funeral yesterday. The night before the service, I sat in the church parking lot where I could be away from my kids to run through my talk. I thought maybe if I could be alone for a minute, I could feel something. But instead, the car died, and I had to have Scotty come jump start it for me. 

Today during church, I had a second where the grief almost caught up to me, but then Scotty had to go help pass the sacrament, and I had to drag a naughty kid out of the meeting, and there were just too many other things to deal with. It's one thing after the other- before I finish solving one problem, there's something else lined up I need to handle. 

No time for grief. 

Even if it only lasts five minutes, I need to mourn. I just don't know when that's going to happen.