Class #1: Marriage Prep
I got married when I was 19, and while I wouldn't necessarily recommend that everyone marry young, one of the reasons it worked for me was because of the effort I put into getting ready for marriage. This included taking a marriage prep course wherein I learned about commitment, communication, conflict, and key conversations that couples should have before they wed. I didn't know it at the time, but that class made all the difference.
When I was working on my degree in Marriage and Family Studies, this was a topic that came up frequently, as research has shown that taking a marriage prep course (or doing counseling as a couple prior to marriage) decreases the chances of divorce in the early years and decreases marital violence. Some states offer a reduced price for a marriage license for couples who take a class or do counseling prior to getting married. It's not a significant amount of money (especially if you consider the time you put into taking a marriage class or counseling and the cost), but it's something. Utah just passed a law earlier this year granting couples a $20 discount on marriage licenses if they do three hours of counseling or six hours of marriage prep classes before they get married.
(I am signed up to become a PREPARE/ENRICH facilitator, myself, but I haven't finished my certification course yet. Maybe I should get going on that).
Not only do I think everyone should take a marriage prep course, but I think everyone should continue getting marriage and family education after they get married. Maybe some John Gottman workshops or even the Marriage and Family Relations course from the LDS Church. Those are only two of many quality learning experiences that are out there.
Class #2: Parenting
"First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage."
Whatever order things go in, I think parenting classes are very helpful. And if a "parenting" class is not your thing, a child development course is also useful but doesn't focus as much on disciplinary techniques. However, I think it's important for parents to learn about effective discipline as well as other parenting behaviors such as active listening, de-escalating conflict, and even sharing parenting responsibilities with a spouse. There are so many parenting strategies that I was naive to when I had Nicky, and if I hadn't learned some of them, I'd be far worse off than I currently am. I am not a natural at parenting, and if I were to rely solely on my own instincts and reactions, my children would be doomed (heaven help me!)
Child development is also very helpful because you gain an understanding of appropriate expectations are for each stage. I remember when Nicky was 9 months old - he started to pull my hair and punch me in the face. I kept trying to put him in time-out for it, and I went to the library and checked out a bunch of parenting books - most of which recommended their strategies for ages 6 and up. I was shocked that I couldn't find any books to tell me how to punish my nine month old.
Now I have a very different perspective of discipline and punishment, but it took some education to get there. I'm not saying I follow through with the greatest parenting techniques, but I do know them, and while I don't think parenting is a one size fits all practice, I think it's wonderful to get some ideas and tools to work with.
Class #3: Money Management
I don't think I need to explain this one in great detail. Managing finances with wisdom is a wonderful skill. At my junior college, a finance class was required for all students. I learned so much (and this is one more educational experience that helped me prepare for marriage, though I didn't acknowledge that at the time).
Scotty and I have also completed Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. I took another money management class at BYU-Idaho a few years ago, and Scotty did the self-reliance class with the Church.
Again, I don't live any of it perfectly (or even well, for that matter), but I know that Scotty and I are far better off financially because of this education.
Class #4: Research Methods
To be honest, I hated my research methods class in college more than anything. I had a horrible instructor who disappeared in the middle of the semester and then just gave everyone A's. It made me mad because I'd skipped several assignments, and I didn't deserve an A, yet I got one. What is my complaint? Well... If I'd done all the work and then found out that people who didn't do the work got A's, I would be infuriated! So I was mad on behalf of the people who actually did all their work. I've been in that boat before. I deserved a C in that class, and that's what I should have been given. I only want an A if I earned it. It's offensive to me to be given an A out of laziness (my instructor resigned the following semester).
BUT...
Despite my hatred of this course, it's one I think everyone should take. A lot of messages we receive in the media and in advertising are based on "research," and it's easy to fell prey to poorly-conducted research or deceiving research. For example, an advertiser can say something like, "People who followed this weight loss program lost twice as much weight as people who followed that weight loss program." Well, if people on that weight loss program lost an average of one pound and people on this weight loss program lost and average of two pounds, then that information is correct - This weight loss program resulted in double the weight loss, but what you don't know, unless you know how to read a research study is that the actual difference is only a pound and that neither weight loss program yielded significant results. Research methods, in my opinion, is a great course to help with discernment. I would probably add a statistics class along with research methods even though it's pure torture, but don't worry! I would gift you a statistics teacher as amazing as mine and research methods teacher far better.
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These classes have all made a big impact on my life and some of the things I've learned in them are things I wish everyone could know. What classes have you taken that you wish you could share with the world?
I’ve never taken any sort of parenting or child development class. I don’t even know how I would find one but it might be helpful. I’m a yeller and in the moment I don’t know what I should do. I just yell and I know I shouldn’t. I always thought the best way to parent would be to just trust my gut and tune out all the literature and the other voices but with Maddie getting closer to her teens I see that I really need some options. If you know of any classes I can look into let me know.
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