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Sunday, February 19, 2017

Wherein Justin & I Need to DTR

So... I don't mean to brag, but Justin Timberlake and I have some history.

As indicated by this photo of us together:

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No, really. That's Justin and me in the same frame.

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And a photo like that causes everyone to wonder, "What is going on with you and Justin?"

I know, I know. It's scandalous.

There was that moment where we made eye contact...

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Don't be concerned that his gaze is shifted slightly to the left.

We made eye contact. I stand by that story.

And just to make things more scandalous, Justin smiled in the general direction of my husband once.

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(Don't mind Alfonso Ribeiro. He just feels left out).

But Justin has also given Scotty a look of death.

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I'm not sure what that means for Justin and Scotty.

But back to me...

Last night I stayed up late watching clips of Justin on Fallon. This morning I was listening to a Justin Timberlake song post-workout. I was jammin,' and I started thinking about my relationship with Justin Timberlake.  Am I obsessed with Justin Timberlake?

This is what led me to realize that it's time to DTR.

(I don't actually know how to use the term "DTR." I only know from the teenagers in my life that it's a real thing - define the relationship, for those of you who are "old" like me).

So this is me attempting to DTR with Justin.

I think he's very talented. The boy can sing and dance. He's also very quick-witted. I think sketch comedy suits him very well. I love many of his sketches from SNL and the Tonight Show. I watch the Camp Winnepesauki sketches more than I want to admit ("You mean Africa?... By Toto?") I even dressed as a breast implant for Halloween once in homage to one of Justin Timberlake's SNL sketches ("Plasticville"). The fact that he is good looking is not beyond me.

Everyone knows I'm a Justin fan. My friends send me Justin memes and links to other great Justin-related things. Especially people from church (How funny is it that that's what I'm known for in the ward?)

I love Justin Timberlake. There's no denying it.

But...

I'm not in love with Justin Timberlake. That's where people get confused.

There is no secret poster of him by my bed. I don't doodle Brittany Timberlake in my notebooks.

I'm going to keep Justin in the friend zone. I want to be his Jimmy Fallon, not his Jessica Biel.

Relationship: defined. 

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