Pages

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Story of 2015

If I were to give 2015 a title, I think I'd call it "The Year of Chaos." Part of me hopes that some of the chaos is left behind as the new year begins, but unfortunately, that's not really how things work.

For the sake of documentation, here is how the morning of the last day of 2015 went.

Zoe woke up early and told me she was hungry, so I started making pancakes. As the pancakes were cooking, Eva started crying upstairs. She'd eaten three times during the night, so I knew her diaper was going to be soaked through. Sure enough, she was wet, so I stripped her down. She needed a bath, so I didn't see the point of diapering her for only a few minutes. I was optimistic that I could carry a naked baby downstairs to flip the pancakes and then give her a quick bath in the kitchen sink without incident. As I was flipping the pancakes, I heard a splash of liquid on the kitchen floor. Sure enough, Eva had peed on me, on Zoe who was standing next to me on a step-stool, and all over the floor and step-stool.

Aside: It's been a long time since a baby has peed on me in such a way. I've been very cautious over the years and haven't put myself in a position to be peed on. I found it interesting that the pee came out much like it was being dumped from a cup. It just sort of "splatted." There was no stream. Just "Splat!" in less than two seconds. 

Zoe started crying, "Pee on me! Pee on me!" and I started hunting for the nearest towel. I got things tidied up and sanitized, then went back to working on the pancakes thinking, "Well, at least it's out of her system. Surely I'll be safe for five more minutes."

I decided to forgo the sink bath and finish breakfast since I hadn't brought the baby soap downstairs. I was just about done with the pancakes with still-naked Eva on my hip when "Splat!" She peed again. This time, though, the utensil drawer was open, and the pee splattered over all the silverware and pooled in the drawer.

It just goes to show that, in parenting, there will never stop being "firsts." You can have four kids, or innumerable kids, and there will still be times when you are utterly shocked.

As I started to clean up the mess, that's when I realized just how chaotic this past year has been.

I live the kind of life where my silverware gets peed on.

Story of 2015.

"The Year of Chaos."

2 comments:

  1. Short stories are your calling.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bahahahahaha. That last line "the year my silverware got peed on." left me snorting my drink out my nose!

    xox

    ReplyDelete