How I Overcame my Milk Dud Addiction

Sometime within the last three years, I discovered that I had a weakness for Milk Duds. They were never my candy of choice - not something I would pay for, by any means - but then, somehow, perhaps by raiding my kids' Halloween candy, I learned that Milk Duds are the best thing on this earth, especially when washed down with Vanilla Coke.

(I'm currently "off the sauce." No Vanilla Coke for me. Sad face).

Milk Duds became my "must-have" for game nights and movies.

People always talk about how Milk Duds are hard to chew, but that was never a problem for me. Occasionally I would end up with a box that was somewhat older and the candies were a little harder, but then some boxes were so soft and gooey!

Yummy, yummy, yummy!

Well, the other night, I was eating Milk Duds in bed and watching a movie. I had a big, old wad of chocolate-covered caramel in my mouth when I suddenly felt my crown lift off my tooth.

Since I have teeth dreams regularly, feeling that sensation of my crown coming off was like living a nightmare.

I had to reach in my mouth, pull out a huge glob of ooey gooey Milk Duds (let's be honest, I was eating more than one at a time), and dig through it to find my crown.

Now, for the past three days, I've had to live with a rotten little nub of a tooth exposed in my mouth while awaiting my dentist appointment. Thank heavens it was my back molar that no one can see.

After my crown came off, I did a quick Google search to see what I needed to do when my crown fell off. During that search, I stumbled across the phrase, "If you swallowed the crown..." and then I started thinking, "Oh my gosh! What if I had swallowed the crown?"

Because... think about it!

I have terrible dental insurance. A crown costs around $700-1,000. I paid for this crown entirely out of pocket.

What if I had swallowed it?

As soon as I thought of this horrible scenario, I immediately turned to Scotty and asked, "If you swallowed a crown, would you try to retrieve it?"

That was a question neither of us wanted to think about or answer.

And that, friends, is why I threw away half a box of Milk Duds. It's not because they ripped my crown out of my face. It's because I could have swallowed that crown, and our financial status, while adequate for our every day needs, is not such that I can frivolously consume my dental work and not bat an eye over it.

I can't eat Milk Duds ever again... unless we're millionaires.

Update: After a discussion with a friend, it has been decided that if I ever swallow a crown, I will induce vomiting. Glad I have a plan. I didn't even think of that. It's good to have options, ya know?