Moods

So...

I'm a little ornery this week.

Maybe it's a hormonal thing, or a post-vacation thing, or a post-Mother's Day thing. Or maybe it's because my baby has been wide awake and ready to start her day at 5:30 every morning for the past two weeks (after waking up 3-4 times through the night)*, and I'm feeling sleep-deprived. Or maybe I'm just a jerk.

I have all these angry thoughts in my head that I need to suppress. The internet is not a good place to be while I'm in such a condition, especially when it seems like everyone is boo-hooing about something, and I have no sympathy. **

On Friday I left a nasty comment on a blog.

It really wasn't that nasty, but it was something I wouldn't normally do. I'm not a nasty-comment-leaver, but I was in this get-over-yourself and quit-making-a-big-fuss-out-of-stupid-things kind of mood, and I couldn't let it go. Again, it wasn't that nasty, I basically just told the writer that I'm happy to not share her opinion, but it felt nasty afterward.

I feel bad.

And at the same time, I don't feel bad.

But I do feel bad.

And I know that if I read my own blog as a stranger while I was in such a mood, I'd be leaving myself all sorts of "suck it up, you big baby" kinds of comments. So why can't I be patient with the small complaints and moderate whining of other people?

I ended up "unliking" that blog on facebook and removing it from my feed reader because I find myself feeling angry over at least half of what I read there anyway, so why bother reading any of it?

Additionally, I had to remove the blog from my life to keep me from going back and seeing the repercussions of my comment. My slightly nasty comment probably fueled a bit of a fire (I'm sure the post would have received some nasty comments eventually, but since I was the first, I probably started something ugly), and I can not go back and look or it will be the death of me.

So maybe I should stay away from the internet for the rest of the week. Or maybe I should take a chill pill (can someone tell me where to get one of those?) In the meantime, I'll douse my ornery self in lemon bars.

*Six months old, and she hasn't slept through the night once. Not even one itty bitty accidental time. (Look at me being all whiney like all the people out there who are driving me nuts!)

**Makes me wonder... is everyone really boo-hooing, or am I just perceiving it that way in my irritable state?