If You're Happy and You Know It

When I hear what other people hope to accomplish in life, I sometimes feel disappointed in myself. To be honest, I don’t have many long-term goals. I’m not trying to obtain a certain career or degree of education. I don’t have any internal need to travel the world or climb to a certain height. As a stay-at-home-mom, I feel a sense of triumph if I make it through an hour of my day without yelling at anyone. I can't focus on where I'll be in a year... or ten.

If someone were to ask me what I’d like to accomplish in my life, I’d be satisfied to just live happily. 

When I think about what happiness truly means to me, it’s easy to list the things that aren’t happiness.

Money isn’t happiness.

Possessions aren’t happiness.

Being pretty isn’t happiness.

Being skinny isn’t happiness.

I’ve been deceived into thinking that I need those things, but when it comes down to it, none of them will provide me with long-term joy.

The hard question to answer is what happiness is. I think George Sheehan described it well when he said, “Happiness is different from pleasure. Happiness has something to do with struggling, enduring, and accomplishing.”

Lately I’ve been having a hard time keeping my chin up during my every day role as a mother. As a whole, my life is happy, but when I break it down into days – or even hours – I spend a lot of time feeling upset, defeated, and like I’m barely keeping my head above water. I’m not, by nature, a nurturer, nor am I patient. I’m most certainly not disciplined, structured, or organized. I’m overwhelmed by my three children. Every day is a struggle for me in this aspect, and as my kids enter new phases of life, I continually meet new challenges that I don't know how to handle. 

As I deal with my insecurities and feelings of failure each day, I try to keep in mind that this is all a part of being happy. This is the struggle, and if I endure it, I will accomplish something. That means more to me than anything I can cross off a list, so while I sometimes feel like an underachiever, I think what I’m working toward will have a decent payoff.

I just need to work on finding the joy in each individual day.

*clap, clap*