Grocery Store Bliss

This morning I went to the grocery store at 7:11 A.M. all by myself. No kids!!! It was as good as going on a spa retreat. For reals. I loved it so much that I stayed for an hour and a half.

I didn't have to take anyone to the bathroom. Not once!

I didn't have to pick up any knocked over merchandise. Not once!

I didn't have to pry my screaming child's fingers from the handle of the BIGGEST WORSTEST MOST ANNOYING SHOPPING CART ON EARTH. Not once!

I didn't have to tell anyone that they can't play arcade games or ride the mechanical warthog. Not once!

(Yes, mechanical warthog. What the heck, Walmart?)

I didn't have to face any stand-offs in the cereal aisle. Not once!

(This is where Daisy gets mad and stands or sits in front of the shopping cart and refuses to move so I have to go pick her up and try to navigate the shopping card with a 35 pound kicking and screaming child in one arm).

I didn't crash into any displays, poles, or short old ladies because I couldn't see where I was going over the infant carrier. Not once!

I didn't swear. Not once!

(You guys, I swear a lot. Hell and damns. All day. Maybe I should start thinking about New Year's Resolutions. Or get a swear jar).

My shopping trip was so blissful that I think it's going to be my new thing - going to the store without kids. I didn't realize how awful it is having them there with me until I tasted the sweet goodness of going alone. Ahhhhh! I'm hooked!