How to Mow the Lawn: A Twelve Step Program

Step 1: Tell your wife you're going outside to mow the lawn.

Step 2: Go outside and use the weed whacker for a few minutes.

Step 3: Notice that your kids are playing with a set of bed risers in the driveway.

Step 4: Drop everything and find a drill and some rope to make a set of stilts.

Step 5: Watch your kids enjoy the stilts.

 

Step 6: Build yourself a pair.

 

Step 7: Climb on the roof.

 

Step 8: Try to walk.

 

Step 9: Fall.

 

Step 10: Apologize to the neighbors that you nearly killed when you dropped your stilts.

Step 11: Saw off a few feet and try again.

 

Step 12: Mow the lawn.