In preparation for this post, I went back and read two old posts - this one about Zoe and her big dreams, and this one about Zoe... and her big dreams. The post I'm writing now? It's about Zoe and her big dreams. As I went back and revisited those posts from 2-3 years ago, all I could do was sit here laugh-crying because nothing has changed! She's still going at it, and she's still chasing after some of the same dreams she was caught up in back then. She is still writing books, trying to start businesses, inventing things, and trying to get our entire community to be in a nativity stage production (written and directed by her, of course). She still asks me to find her a publisher for her book (which still has no punctuation), wants to teach dance classes, and asks me to find someone she can collaborate with on the release of her single because (as she explains) she's really good at writing lyrics, but she doesn't really know how to create the music part. Recently she asked me if I could hire her a manager. I lied. I told her I put her on a waiting list for a manager, and she's number 300.
The other day I picked her up from school, and she spent the entire ride home telling me all of her plans to start a pest control company. She named the business and all of her products. Apparently she spent the day at school researching how to repel mice and bugs and she was going to need a whole lot of lavender and rosemary. Now everywhere I step foot on our property, there's a sprig of lavender or rosemary underfoot. Our garage is loaded with it, and every exterior door has a pile of herbs on its stoop. There are also spray bottles of brown-ish herb water all over the house, and the backyard has dishes of chopped up leaves laying all around the grass.
Today she has been fully focused on her nativity production. She has asked me if I will please reserve the church for her and let her perform her nativity. She wants to hold auditions and make it free for all to attend. I just want to say, "OH MY GOSH, NO! WE ARE NOT DOING THAT!" But am I supposed to let her try? Am I supposed to help her do it? Am I supposed to make her dreams come true?
She said to me, "Mom, please let me do this! It might jump start my career."
No. It won't. It will be a big, fat pain in the arse.
A while ago she became obsessed with getting an electric guitar. She begged and begged for one. But the girl already has two acoustic guitars, and do you know what?
SHE DOESN'T EVEN PLAY THE GUITAR!
But she thinks she does.
She has no comprehension of the fact that there are things she doesn't know how to do. She thinks she is a prodigy at everything. She truly believes she knows how to play the guitar. Being the mean mom that I am, I said, "Go get one of your guitars right now. I'm going to show you a sheet of guitar music, and if you can play the song, I will buy you an electric guitar."
She brought in the guitar. I showed her the music. She couldn't play it. That was a few months ago. Guess who just used her birthday money to buy herself an electric guitar that she still can't play?
Full disclosure... I have no idea how to handle this part of parenting. I feel like my main role as a mother is to crush dreams. You know those people who grow up, and they're like, "They said I couldn't do it! They said I'd never make it! They didn't believe in me!"
It's me. I'm "they." It's going to be my child telling that tale someday.
The worst part? I remember what Child Britt was like.
I think Zoe got this from me.
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