When you’re reading a physical copy of a book and you try to scroll…
Or zoom in on the text…
Or tap the book to see what time it is.
When you eat a big, satisfying lunch, and then look at the clock, and it’s only 9:46 a.m.
When you’re constantly getting after your kid for something they do that’s incredibly annoying, and then you catch yourself doing the same thing.
Likewise, when you and your child make the exact same noise at the exact same time in the exact same pitch as if you'd rehearsed it, and then you look at each other like, “Why am I like you?”
When you’re at instacare with your child, and the medical assistant refers to amoxicillin as an allergy medication, and you’re like, “I’m no doctor, but…should you be working here?”
When you’re sitting on the examination table at the dermatologist, and your cell phone vibrates in your back pocket and sounds like a fart while the doctor is examining your armpit mole.
Pretty much everything that happens at the dermatologist.
When you walk through a door and can’t see the person about to walk through the opposite way, and you almost make full body contact as you scare the crap out of each other.
When you think a person is going to hold a door for you, and then they don’t, and you almost end up wedged in the door frame side by side.
When you’re at a soda fountain, and someone is filling up their cup, and there’s probably enough space for you to slide in next to them and fill your cup at the same time, but you’re not sure what that person’s boundaries are, so you linger back a bit and twitch while trying to decide if your hesitancy is holding up a line.
When you’re waiting to turn left, and you could have gone, but you didn’t know you could have gone until it was too late, and while you’re regretting not going, you miss another opportunity to go, and you know everyone behind you hates you.
When you’re at the temple doing baptisms for the dead, and one of the temple workers keeps disrupting the baptisms to give insights about the science of moving water and the pronunciation of vowel sounds prior to the 1600’s.
When you get a Ring doorbell notification on your phone, and you can't figure out who it is or what they're doing, and then you realize it was YOU taking out the garbage nine minutes ago.
When Ryan Murphy is all the rage, and you're like, "Yeah, I really love his arrangement of I Know that the Savior Loves Me."
When the employee at the DI donation drop-off is trying to reenact Guardians of the Galaxy for you as you ease your way back into your car, and you don't want to hurt his feelings, so you drive away mid-performance and yell, "Have a good day, Starlord!"
When you give permission for your daughter and the neighbor kid to watch tv in your room, and the neighbor kid says, “But first will you go close your closet door so I don’t have to see your bras?”
When you see a van just like yours, and you look at the driver to see if it's you.
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