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Monday, May 14, 2012

I'm growing a fetus (and ten other facts about being pregnant)

Fact #1: We were going to go to Disneyland for Thanksgiving this year until we discovered that we're having a baby.

Fact #2: I keep thinking that my due date is November 22, but it's actually November 1. That makes me 15 weeks.

Fact #3: I probably wouldn't have taken a pregnancy test except that Old Reliable was running a little late (a common occurrence for me), and I had a dentist appointment in the morning, so I wanted to make sure I was eligible for laughing gas. After two questionable tests (i.e. lines so faint that I couldn't tell if they were real or imagined), I returned to Walmart for the third time (I was too stingy to buy a multi-pack of tests the first or second time because why would I need more than one?) and took a test in the bathroom. The lines were still very faint, but visible enough that I at least knew they were real. No laughing gas for me.

Fact #4: The third time I went to Walmart, I bought a two-pack. Now I have an extra pregnancy test, which I've been hauling around in my purse.

Fact #5: I've also been hauling around my positive test in my purse. I have a hard time throwing away positive tests because I'm afraid that that's what keeps me pregnant. I know... it makes no sense. I'm freakishly superstitious about pregnancy.

Fact #6: I've been sick, but I don't notice the pregnancy symptoms much because the self-diagnosed whooping cough dominates. Some day, if I ever recover from my coughing fits, I might be able to determine what it feels like to be pregnant.

Fact #7: We are not finding out what we're having.

Fact #8: I think it's a boy (but I always think it's a boy).

Fact #9: I hate food.

Fact #10: Every time I start to feel annoyed that the human gestation period is nine months (in other words, FOR.EV.ER) I remind myself how grateful I am that I'm not giving birth to an elephant. Twenty-two months, people! Can you imagine being pregnant for two years?

Baby Elephant

10 comments:

  1. #2. Try not to have HER on Halloween. I have friends who have birthdays on Halloween and none of them like it.

    #4. You've been holding out on us?! Do you know what fun family games this could've produced at family parties?!

    #7. It's a girl.

    #8. I always think it's a girl.

    #9. I need to get pregnant too.

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  2. I have all of my positive pregnancy tests. It's cool. (But I don't have them saved in the baby books.)

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  3. I remember reading that baby elephants are 90 pounds at birth...that's like birthing a 7th grader!

    xox

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  4. holy cow Britt..congrats on your latest pregnancy..happy belated mothers day:)

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  5. well, for the record, I think you're having a girl!

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  6. I love this! All of this! And I have the hardest time throwing away positive tests too. As in I don't throw them away the entire pregnancy. Seth thinks this is gross. It probably is :)

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  7. YIPPEEEEEE! Congratulations! ACK so exciting -- I just hope you start feeling better immediately! xoxo

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  8. HOOOORAAAAAAAAY!

    Fabulous news.

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  9. FYI: The dollar store sells pregnancy tests. Cheaper and work just as well as the ones at walmart.

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