January Reading

For the past few years, at the end of the year, I've posted a list of books I've read. Since I read quite a bit, I decided to try something different on 2022 and post a list every month. For each book, I'll share five things:

1. The source (or format) of the book 

2. A one-sentence summary

3. A quick review of the content (to help you decide if it's something that fits your interests and values)

4. My review via either a quick comment or a star rating

5. A "final statement" (which is whatever I want to say in closing)

As a naturally lazy person, I reserve the right to bow out of this commitment at any time.

Without further ado, here are the books I read in January in the order I read them:

Will by Will Smith

Source: Audiobook read by the author

Summary: "Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside-down..."

Content: Language and a couple of sexual references

Review: ****

Final Statement: Will Smith is certainly full of himself, but he's talented and funny, so the audiobook is quite entertaining to listen to. 

What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing 
by Bruce D. Perry and Oprah Winfrey

(Featured in this post)

Source: E-book

Summary: Dr. Perry and Oprah discuss the effects of trauma and promote a more trauma-aware society. 

Content: Examples of and case studies involving trauma

Review:****

Final Statement: This book fed the part of me that wants to grow up and be a marriage and family therapist. Nom Nom.

When it Doesn't Make Sense by John Bytheway

Source: Audiobook read by author

Summary: John Bytheway explores the "law of retribution" and uses scriptural teachings to demonstrate how we can react when something happens that doesn't make sense. 

Content: Dad jokes

Review:****

Final Statement: I listened to this on Deseret Bookshelf Plus (which I subscribe to) at a time when I really needed the message. 

Later by Stephen King

Source: Audiobook

Summary: Kid sees dead people (but not like "that movie" - so says the kid).

Content: Language, sex, and drugs

Review:****

Final Statement: I finished the entire audiobook while cleaning my daughters' bedroom, so either this book is joyfully short (sometimes you just need a quick read) or my girls' room was horribly messy. 

You, Me, and the Colors of Life by Noa C. Walker

Source: Free e-book from Amazon's World Book Day 2021

Summary: Two people fall in love, and then there are obstacles (GASP!)

Content: Suicidal ideation and terminal illness, but very clean. I would let my grandma read this book!

Review: This book isn't really my style, so I didn't give it a star rating, but I know a lot of people who would really like it. 

Final Statement: Apparently this book is full of color references, which I totally missed, so if you read it, pay attention to that. 

The Push by Ashley Audrain

Source: E-book

Summary: Mom thinks something about her daughter is a little "off," and that she might be dangerous. 

Content: Language, disturbing behavior

Review:***

Final Statement: I thought this book had an interesting plot, but some aspects of it bothered me, so I wouldn't really recommend it to anyone.

The Secret History by Donna Tartt

Source: Audiobook read by the author

Summary: Some boring college students get wrapped up in a boring murder across the span of way too many pages. 

Content: Boring stuff and some swears

Review:**

Final Statement: The blurb for this book makes it sound so much better than it is. 

People We Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry

Source: Audiobook

Summary: A typical, chick-lit, opposites-attract-but-are-too-oblivious-to-know-it sort of deal.

Content: Language and sex

Review:***

Final Statement: I feel like I could have accurately judged this book by its cover. 

Bluebird by Sharon Cameron

Source: E-book

Summary: After WWII, Eva leaves Berlin for New York City to seek justice on her Nazi father who performed psychological experiments on individuals in a concentration camp. 

Content: War crimes including rape (alluded to but not descriptive). I would let my grandma read this book. 

Review:****

Final Statement: I particularly liked the historical notes at the end of this book and was surprised to find that this is a YA novel. 

The Warsaw Orphan by Kelly Rimmer

Source: Audiobook

Summary: The story of two teenagers living in Warsaw during WWII, one inside the ghetto and one outside the ghetto, and how they assist in the uprising and the effort to save children from the ghetto. 

Content: War time violence and traumatic situations, rape (non-descriptive). I would let my grandma read this book. 

Review:****

Final Statement: This was a good book, but I probably shouldn't have read it back-to-back with Bluebird because they have melded together in my brain. 

The Maidens by Alex Michaelides

Source: Hardback book from the Lucky Day shelf at the library

Summary: A therapist named Mariana gets herself all wrapped up in a murder she has no business investigating, thereby creating a plot.

Content: Language and sex

Review:***

Final Statement: I've got nothin'.

-----------------------------------------

The book I'm most likely to recommend from January is:

Walk This Way

In the block of scripture for last week's Come Follow Me study, the Lord said to Enoch, "Walk with me" (Moses 6:34). For several days, I've had that phrase bumping around in my head. 

In a lot of artwork, Jesus is depicted walking. Sometimes He is alone, and sometimes he is with others, but anytime He is alone, there is space beside Him for someone to walk with Him. 

As I've pondered what it means to walk with the Savior, I've thought about some of the ways the act of walking has been significant in my life.

I remember walking with my grandma, Lois, as a young child while we were camping. In my mind, I was just tagging a long, but my grandma was trying to get in some exercise, and on that walk she told me told me that I should be able to walk a mile in 15 minutes. I've always remembered my grandma telling me that, and anytime I take more than 15 minutes to walk a mile (which is almost always) I think, "Uh-oh! Grandma won't like this!"

My other grandma, Marlene, used to go walking every morning at the church next to my house with her friend. Everyday, as I walked to school, I got to say hello to my grandma. 

Before we could drive, my best friend, Michelle, and I would always walk to each other's houses. We always met in the middle, then continued in the direction of the house we were headed to. We usually ended up meeting in the field at the elementary school. We did this so often, there was a path worn in the grass.

As a fifteen year old, I won Scotty's heart by walking past his house multiple times a day, so he and I could just happen to run into each other. Michelle was always with me, and she thereby ran into a husband for herself (Scotty's step-brother, Kyle). 

The first thing I ever did with my friend Shannon was go for a walk. We made walking part of our regular routine and went at least three times a week. We kept going earlier and earlier in the morning because we wanted more time to talk. We did this for over a year before Shannon had to move out of state. 

After Shannon moved, I started walking with Julie, whom Shannon and I would pass going the opposite direction on our morning walks. Julie and I have been walking together regularly for about five years now. It's very therapeutic to have someone to talk to multiple times a week. 

But on a more serious note...

Several years ago, my friend lost a baby to stillbirth. She wanted to tell me about it, and I wanted to hear about it, but we didn't know how to be emotionally vulnerable face to face, so we walked together. The weather was horrible, and it was garbage day. The wind was blowing over everyone's garbage cans, so she and I walked about the neighborhood, picking up trash and standing garbage cans back up one after another as we mourned the loss of her sweet child.

On another occasion, a friend of mine was struggling with thoughts of suicide. On a night where the urge to die was particularly strong, I asked her to come walk with me. She had just been released from the hospital after an attempt to end her life, and the weight of staying alive was still too much for her. I didn't know what to say to her, but I just wanted to make sure she wasn't alone. All I could do was link arms with her and walk the streets in the dark. 

I now look back on those two walks, in particular, as sacred. 

In the book I wrote about recently, What Happened to You? Oprah and Dr. Perry mentioned several times that "...doing things with movement and rhythm offers a more connected way of communicating." Rhythm and movement can help you regulate yourself - which is essentially calming you to a point where you can react from a different part of your brain (read more here). We are naturally drawn to rhythm and movement. That is why things like drumming and dance are such a big part of various cultures and why it feels so natural to bounce or rock a baby. Dr. Perry mentioned walking as one of these movements, and Oprah commented that walking has always been incredibly healing for her, and in times of stress, that's one of her first responses - to go walk it off. 

I found the research fascinating because there's always been something about walking - something more than just getting from one place to another. A friend of mine has mentioned before that her son opens up to her much more when they walk together. My hypothesis was that this is because you don't have to make eye contact when you're walking next to someone (and there's probably something to that), but maybe the bigger component is the rhythmic movement that settles and soothes us. 

Even though we don't literally "walk" with Christ at this point in our eternal journey, I still think there is some significance to the imagery the phraseology provides. 

To walk with Christ, we would face the way He is facing and head the way He is heading. We would be close to Him - close enough to “hear Him.” We might even link arms with Him, like I did while walking with my friend who couldn't bear the weight of living. 

In walking with Him, we can adopt sacred rhythms - each step a repetitive act:

Right step - repent.

Left step - take the sacrament.

Right step - attend the temple.

Left step - study the scriptures.

Right, left, right, left - creating a rhythmic pattern in our lives that offers us His healing. 

The reading passage for last week goes on to say that after Enoch received the invitation to "walk with me," he did, indeed, "walk" with God (Moses 6:39). Then later on (in this week's reading) Enoch was able to gain the confidence to say to the Lord, "I know thee" (Moses 7:59). 

One of the greatest benefits of walking with others throughout my life is that I've been able to get to know them more deeply and personally. I would love nothing more than to have that experience with the Savior and to be able to say, like Enoch, "I know thee because I walked with thee."

 

Eight Minutes Til School (and ten other random facts)

Fact #1: Daisy has started saying “dope,” and I’m an old lady who’s like, “Kids these days and their horrible vocabulary!” (Kind of how my mother-in-law reacts when I say something “sucks”). 

Now I hear, “This is dope!” and “That is dope!” all day long, and I just want to go back to my childhood when things were simply “cool” or “awesome,” and if you were feeling wild, “tubular” (but only in kindergarten because “tubular” wore out as we transitioned from the 80’s to the 90’s).

Fact #2: Nicky went back to school today for the first time since the shooting. The day after the shooting there was no school because it was the end of the semester. Then last week they did online learning due to COVID. It was really good timing for the students to have a week at home. I’m anxious to hear how things go at school today. They have grief counselors available, and the school is being monitored closely by district and local police. I’m sure anxiety is running high for many students. Initially it was reported that the suspects were from a rival school, but now it’s been made known that they were actually from our school. We’ve had some good talks with Nicky, and he seems to be handling things okay. 

Fact #3: I feel a bit weird with my kids going back to school. I feel like I did when they went back after our first bout of distance learning - like it’s too good to be true! I don’t dare to get comfortable because I feel like they could be back home any moment. 

Fact #4: Speaking of Nicky, I promised I’d take him driving while he was home from school this past week. On Friday morning (while traffic was mild) I took him out on the “busy” roads for the first time. He had his first experiences with stoplights, passing lanes, and speed limits over 35 mph. 

Fact #5: It’s amazing how much I’ve overlooked about learning how to drive since it’s second-nature to me. I had to explain blind spots and how to use the mirrors and how to position the car in the lane. I forget that we aren’t born with this knowledge. Then I took Nicky to the gas station and made him pump gas, and he had no clue what he was doing, and it was just so funny! There is so much to teach him, and I’m kind of dying inside at the thought of having to do any of this with my daughters.

Fact #6: Things you don’t want to hear your kid say while he's driving:

“Oops, wrong pedal!”

“I’m only going ten over!”

“Stop being a passenger seat driver!”

Fact #7: I think I'm a pretty chill passenger seat driver (at least with Nicky - I won't be with the girls), but maybe I'm mistaken.

Fact #8: Multiple times a day Zoe begs me to take her to get a COVID test. I've asked her if she is worried about COVID, and she says, "No, I just want to know if I have it." I think she sees it as some sort of status symbol now because last week there was so much discussion with her school friends about who's had it and who hasn't. I think she wants to know which club she's a part of. 

Fact #9: For a while I’ve been able to really enjoy the phase of life I’m in. My kids are old enough to stay home on their own, so I don’t have to find babysitters very often anymore, and I quite enjoy that perk! But for the past three months or so, Zoe and Eva have gone apeshit (sorry, I can’t think of a better word for it). They can’t be left at home together without a parent because they will beat the living daylight out of each other, and I can’t put the burden on Nicky and Daisy to supervise them in those circumstances. We’re kind of at our wits end with them. 

Fact #10: My gray hair has increased ten-fold in the past three months. It's almost taken over my entire hairline. I feel like the amount of gray in my hair is appropriate for 45, not 38. I'm too old for "dope" but too young for gray hair. It's a strange place to be. 

A Busy Weekend and a Whole Lotta COVID

With the influx in COVID cases (current variant: omicron), we are back to "distance learning." It's supposed to be for just this week, but we've been there, done that, and we all know it's best to be ready for anything. 

I'm currently being held hostage at my kitchen table by my four school-ing children. Last time we were distance learning, I didn't have to worry about Eva since she was in preschool. Now Eva is doing the same work that Zoe was doing when we started distance learning two years ago, which means I'm pretty much a professional first grader. 

Zoe is on a Zoom meeting with her class as I'm typing this, and all the kids are telling the teacher about how they have COVID or someone in their family has it (side note: Zoe's teacher is amazing. I am so impressed with her! Zoe has had such fantastic teachers thus far in her schooling). 

Our kids had a long weekend with no school on Friday (end of quarter) and no school on Monday (Martin Luther King Jr Day). We were supposed to go to Hamilton on Saturday (we got tickets for Nicky and Daisy for Christmas), but this week's shows were canceled due to... COVID! We'd been doing our best to stay healthy because we were worried that one of us would end up with COVID, and we wouldn't be able to go, but it turned out there was an outbreak in the cast. 

Thus far, we are still COVID-free, but pretty much everyday, I find out 2-3 people we've recently been with have COVID, so we can't possibly continue to dodge it. Scotty is supposed to go to Disneyland (a la a thrice rescheduled "brocation") in a few days, and it seems unfathomable that all 10 "bros" will make it. A few have had COVID in the past couple of weeks, so they're good to go. The rest are ticking time bombs. 

Over the weekend, we had the internal battle of "should we completely lock down and try to keep Scotty healthy, or should we go forward with life being as cautious as possible?" We decided to still go out and do things, but do so with as much safety and vigilance as possible. 

On Friday, I took the kids bowling. It ended up working out rather well because we were the only family there!

Eva didn't want to bowl, but we were able to convince her to play one game

Nicky is actually quite terrible at bowling

Zoe got a strike

We also went to Raising Cane's and waited in the super long drive-thru line for lunch (our local restaurant opened on December 14 - I only remember because it was my mom's birthday). Most people have told us that Raising Cane's is "just okay." We concur. 

After lunch, we went to the school to pick up the kids' Chromebooks and other materials for distance learning. 

That evening, my friend Christie brought me a birthday present. You may call me Patrick.

On Saturday, Scotty and I decided we really needed to get out of the house, so we went to Thanksgiving Point. First we went to Farm Country, and it was really fun! We got there shortly after they opened, and there was no one there yet. We bought some food for the animals, and they were all rather hungry, being early morning and all, so they were super excited to see us and quite competitive for our attention. 

My new besties

We took a tractor ride and Zoe rode a pony. 

Then we headed to the Butterfly Biosphere because Scotty had never been there before.

(We have a pass to Thanksgiving Point that let's us get into all the venues). 

We weren't quite ready to go home, so we stopped at Cafe Rio and got some lunch. I had a few gift cards and rewards, and then three vouchers for free desserts, so we got a lot of food for free. 

After Cafe Rio, we stopped at Scheel's to ride the Ferris wheel and eat some ice cream. They used to have those multi-flavored syrupy ice cream cones for super cheap, but now they just have the classic vanilla, chocolate, and twist, which is fine... but also disappointing. Our neighbor works at the Ferris wheel, and he hooked us up with free ice cream (which wasn't our intent, but a much-appreciated surprise). 

After Scheel's, we headed to the zoo, where we also have an annual pass. We scoped out the animals and rode the carousel (except for me because after 15 years of taking my kids to the zoo, I feel like I deserve to not ride the carousel and sit on a bench instead. Plus, I wanted to check up on news about Tonga).

Me not riding the carousel

If that wasn't enough, we also had a birthday party for my nephew to go to that evening. So you might say that Saturday was a bit busy. 

On Sunday, we had church where we were few in numbers and have returned to social distanced seating. We have also moved all additional meetings online. Nicky blessed the sacrament for the first time (milestone alert!), then he and Scotty took the sacrament to the homebound (where Nicky was able to bless) while I had an online meeting. 

We went and visited Scotty's parents (which is what we do most Sundays), and then we came home and made crunch wraps with some gigantic tortillas we got from the Food Bank (we have a lot of Food Bank food being distributed in our area, and we have multiple neighbors that bring us offerings from time to time. Our next door neighbor brought us a few packages of the giant tortillas, and we've had fun making LARGE food items with them).

On Monday, we didn't have any secure plans. We ended up going back to Thanksgiving Point because they were having a "Day of Service" where we could help put together snack kits for Granite Education Foundation. Some of my in-laws came, and after we finished the service project, we thought, "Heck! Let's all go to the zoo again!"

So we did. 

Then Scotty's mom offered to have the kids come to her house to play (glory hallelujah! I needed a break from them) so Scotty and I snuck off to Leatherby's and then came home and watched a show (i.e. I watched a show while Scotty slept on the couch). 

When the kids came back home, we had Family Home Evening and then went to sleep to dream about all the places we might have picked up COVID over the long weekend. 

Now here we sit with open laptops, living our best pandemic lives and wondering... what excitement awaits us this week? 

Close to Home

Yesterday we had a tragedy in our community - a shooting that took the lives of two teenage boys and left a third in critical condition. This happened near the high school while the students were at lunch. The victims were all students at Nicky's school. They were shot by a fourteen year old boy.

Fourteen.

I got a text from my mom around 11:00 yesterday morning. She had been driving home and passed through the crime scene right after it happened. The police hadn't even arrived yet. She said it looked like there had been a shooting by the high school and that there were bodies, and they were definitely kids. 

My response to the situation was rather cerebral. I knew those involved were probably students from the school who left campus during lunch, and I knew the school would likely have activated a lockdown or shelter in place protocol, but I wasn't worried about the safety of my own child. I knew he wasn't involved, and my only concern was that he felt safe, and he did. I texted him to see what was happening at the school. He had been at lunch, and an announcement was made that the school was sheltering in place. Those in classrooms were to stay put, and those at lunch were directed to the auditorium where they spent the next couple of hours. 

There were other schools in the area that also needed to shelter in place as the police apprehended the suspects. They took four into custody. By the end of the day, three were released and one, the shooter, was booked into juvenile detention. It was confirmed that all three victims were students from the high school. The suspects are from another school.*

All involved - the victims and the suspects - were 14 and 15 years old. Nicky's age. All their lives are completely altered now. This is a tragedy at any age, but it's especially heart wrenching that this happened among children. Sure, no 14 or 15 year old thinks of themselves as a child, but they are. They are children. One of the saddest things, to me personally, is that not only did the suspect shoot three individuals, but according to a witness, he also took the time to approach them and kick them in the head afterward. I know we as humans have the capacity to do terrible things, but it just makes me ache that such hatred and violence can exist in the heart of a child. 

Nicky said the mood in the auditorium was pretty normal. Everyone was speculating and texting. The school didn't give a lot of information to the students, but news travels fast via technology. When the shelter in place protocol was lifted (just before 1:00), they dismissed school early. Nicky said when he came out of the auditorium, there had been a shift. The school was completely silent and sober. Students were hugging and many were crying. It was something he'd never experienced before. He'd been protected from it a bit in the mass crowd of the auditorium, but it hit suddenly and with great emotion when he came out into the halls of school. 

The names of the victims were released later in the day. Nicky did not know them. Prayers are requested for the families of the boys whose lives were lost and for the boy who is in critical condition. This tragedy will weigh heavily on our community for a very long time. 

While we were all processing this event yesterday, we received news that a much-loved member of our ward had passed away. I've known her since I was eight years old, and her passing was quick and unexpected yesterday afternoon. 

The losses in our community are great today. As always, there are no words to resolve the grief that everyone is experiencing, but I wanted to pause and acknowledge what has happened and pay respect to those who left this life too soon. 

*A week after the shooting, police confirmed that the suspects actually attend our high school.

I Can't Sing and Type at the Same Time (and ten other random facts)

Fact #1: Omicron has taken over. 

All the people have it. 

All the friends have it. 

Mask mandate. 

So on and so forth. 

Fact #2: Nicky got his learner permit last week. I'm excited for him to be able to drive, but I don't love the part where he needs to learn to drive, and I have to provide some of that education. 

Fact #3: I think Nicky will be a good driver once he learns the ropes. It's just those initial moments behind the wheel that terrify me. Yesterday I let him drive home from school, and I realized just how much he needs to learn (like how to go through a dip without taking a nosedive).

Fact #4: Over the weekend, Eva crashed her bike and sliced her chin open. We took her to the ER for stitches and an x-ray on her finger (not broken, fortunately). We broke a two-year streak of no ER visits! Our last trip to the ER was when Zoe's tonsils hemorrhaged in December 2019. In 2018, we had 7 ER visits, so I feel like we deserved the break. 

Eva's x-ray

Getting x-rays (first timer)

Eva's finger in question

Chin slice

Fact #5: Eva and Zoe have been super contentious this week. Eva was jealous that Zoe got teeth pulled, and Zoe was jealous that Eva got stitches. 

Fact #6: As of yesterday, all the Christmas decorations are officially stowed away. 

I think...

Fact #7: I've been living it up with all my free birthday perks. 

Free dessert at Moochie's + a $5 credit for signing up for their rewards program

Free charburger at The Habit

Free sandwich at Chick-Fil-A

Free 8" sandwich at Jimmy Johns

Not pictured: free meal at Tucano's and $5 off at Cafe Rio. 

I missed $5 at Menchies and free apple pie at McDonald's because I was too busy enjoying other things (and apple pie? Meh).

I still have $10 in Kohl's cash and a free glazed dozen at Krispy Kreme to redeem. 

It's hard work.

Fact #8: A while ago I mentioned that my friend Christie was going to be featured on an episode of Random Acts on BYUTV. Her episode aired last week, and you can watch it here. 

Fact #9: During these almost-two years of a pandemic, it's become a habit to play "What's The Store Out of Today?" As you have probably experienced yourself, it's nearly impossible to check everything off your grocery list these days. The results of the game this week have been:

Store trip #1: no cucumbers, no broccoli

Store trip #2: no chicken breasts

It's always good fun. 

Fact #10: Next week is Blue Monday - the most depressing day of the year, according to pseudoscience. It's also Martin Luther King Jr. Day. How are you planning to celebrate? 

My kids are out of school Friday and Monday, and I haven't even recovered from Thanksgiving break yet, not to mention the 16 days they were home for Christmas. 

Way Too Much to Say About the Costco Puzzle

A couple of months ago, I was at Costco, and I put a few impulse buys in my cart - a blanket, some socks, a package of scissors, and some new Thermoflask water bottles (because I lost my old one - spoiler alert: I found it under the passenger seat of the van when we drove to Phoenix). I also put the Dowdle Costco puzzle in my cart. 

Sometimes I need to put stuff in my cart, push it around for a while just for the heck of it, and then put it back. Which is what I did with all of those items. 

My sister-in-law, Amber, ended up getting me some of those things for Christmas - the blanket, the scissors, and the Thermoflasks. Then when she handed me a familiar square package on my birthday, I knew it was the Costco puzzle, and I was so excited!

I started the puzzle on Thursday and finished it on Friday. Tragically, there were two pieces missing!!! I’m not sure what happened, but since the two pieces are next to each other, I suspect there was a manufacturing and packaging problem. Yes, I’m perfectly capable of losing a puzzle piece or two, but I’ve also had times when I have had extra puzzle pieces turn up in our puzzles. I always cry inside knowing that someone out there likely has a puzzle that’s missing a piece (while simultaneously rejoicing that it's not me). What I wonder is… with the Costco puzzle did the pieces not cut properly and end up in the wrong place together during the manufacturing process? Dowdle had a "No Missing Pieces Policy," but I don't think my puzzle qualifies because Amber bought it on eBay. 

Anyway…

Aside from missing two pieces, the Costco puzzle was so much fun to put together. I did it all by myself! I feel like a toddler bragging about putting on my own shirt, but sometimes you just need to give yourself a pat on the back like an overachieving three year old to get you through the day. 

998 pieces of my Costco puzzle

The artist of the Costco puzzle is Eric Dowdle, who works out of Lindon, Utah. I've done a few of his other puzzles, and the details are always really fun. The Costco puzzle kept me highly amused - here are some of the details: 

I think this might be my favorite puzzle I've ever done. 

Maybe.

It does have Richard Simmons to contend with.