Tuesday, June 25, 2013

S'more 'bout ma teeth

Big news today.

This morning, I was able to close my teeth together for the first time since I had my wisdom teeth removed. Let's see... that means I just spent 11 days with my teeth parted.


But then I got cocky and chewed some gum and bit my cheek, so now I have that horrible overhang that makes me need to puff air into my cheeks before I clench my teeth. You know what I'm talking about, right?

In case you're dying to know, I went to Cafe Rio last Friday. It took about an hour to eat half a burrito, but it was sure good (I wanted a salad, but lettuce is surprisingly hard to chew with your front teeth).

Did you know you would spend so much of your week reading about teeth and vans?

You'd probably like to hear about something else, so please enjoy this picture of Scotty:

Scotty the Hottie

That's my man!

Monday, June 24, 2013


Now that I've been a van owner for a week, I have to say...

I love my van!

It is not without its inconveniences, though. Having a van has not made my kids stop fighting in the car. Instead, they have explored how to annoy each other in a larger area. They use their limbs in new ways and stretch everything slightly further to achieve their horrendous goals. There are also issues with the doors. Never mind the fact that there are two (I repeat... TWO) automatic sliding doors. Nicky and Daisy have to fight over who gets to open them and who gets to close them EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. I can not get the logic of One Door Per Person through their little blond heads. On average, each door is opened and closed thirty-two times per destination because Nicky pushed the button, but Daisy wanted to push the button, so Daisy has to push the button to close the door so she can open the door, and then she has to close the door for the final time, and I'm out in the parking lot going, "YOU! Use that door, and YOU! Use that door!" But I'm really just that idiot mom with the big gold van yelling at her kids at the library, and no one really cares how smart and logical I am in such circumstances.

(Two kids, two doors. Why is it so complicated?)

I have this inkling that the first thing I'm going to have to fork over the big bucks for will be a DOOR!

It's going to be expensive, yo.

And by then, Zoe will be in on the madness that is the opening and closing of van doors.

I should just make a rule that only Mom and Dad get to push the Super Duper Spaceship Door-Opening Buttons, but do you know what kind of personal Hell I would be in trying to get those kids to abide by such a rule? I can't even get my kids to eat in the kitchen or put their shoes away! How am I going to keep them from pushing a button?

(It's true, I have no idea how to be a parent, and my kids eat me alive day after day. Judge me. Whatever).

But other than those two things and the fact that my kids sometimes chuck things at my head from the third row, I am a very happy van driver. I feel like I am driving something from the future. My last car was a super big deal because it had automatic locks and windows! Now I have automatic locks and windows, PLUS Stow 'N Go. And for the first time ever, my car tells me the temperature.


Okay, so I'm a little out-of-date. Judge me. Whatever.

My van is cool.

It is.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Blogging and Teeth... Again

Lately I've been in a serious blogging funk.

Every time I go through a funk, I wonder, Is this "it?" Because that's how it ends, you know. All it takes is one short week and BAM!

Your favorite blogger is GONE!

I feel like I have a "best by" date that I'm not privy to. Has it come and gone? How am I supposed to know?

I don't have any plans to quit blogging, but as I've mentioned before, my blogging community has nearly vanished. The last few are posting less and less these days.

So I wonder...

Am I just going through the usual bout of writer's block? Or is it something bigger? Something they call "moving on?"


I'm still recovering from my wisdom teeth extraction. I hesitate to admit it (because I don't want to scare Cyndi or Cheyenne in case they ever have to get theirs out), but I am in so much pain! Tomorrow will be one week since my surgery, and my pain level hasn't gone down since day two. I've been back to the oral surgeon to see if I have developed dry socket or an infection, but everything looks fine.

I don't know why it hurts so bad!

The surgeon offered to reopen the wounds and pack them with medicated gauze that will numb the pain, but I felt like that would be a step backward, so I'm going to stick it out.

I feel like such a ninny.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Teeth and Vans

Yesterday I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I'm feeling pretty good today. I can't open my mouth or move my tongue. My cheeks are a little puffy, and if I bend over, I feel like I'm going to die, but overall, I can't complain.

I miss food, though. The first thing I'm eating after my week of soft foods is a Cafe Rio salad.

After I had my wisdom teeth taken out, we went and bought a van. It makes sense to buy a new car immediately after you have four teeth ripped from your face, right?

Especially when you get to puke in your new van twice on the way home.

Having a van is seriously a dream come true for us. We have shopped and saved and prayed for this van for a long time, and we are very excited. The social stigmas that come with van ownership don't bother me one bit. I'm all about practicality, and a van suits our needs for space and gas mileage.

I feel "bad A" driving my Dodge Caravan around. I may not look "bad A" to the people outside, but I know I'm "bad A" on the inside.

I can't wait to drive to cafe Rio next week.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

It's Swamp Cooler Season (and ten other random facts)

Fact #1: Over the weekend I went to Zion National Park for the first time. Having lived my entire life in Utah, it's pretty lame that I took 29 years to get there.


Fact #2: Speaking of Things I've Taken 29 Years to Do, I just ran a mile for the first time in my life on May 30. 

Fact #4: I am finally getting my wisdom teeth out on Friday. I think I have mentioned the need to have my wisdom teeth out about thirteen billion times on this blog. Again, Things I've Taken 29 Years to Do.

Fact #5: My adorable daughters have been waking up around 5:15 a.m. lately. This is turning me into a zombie mother. I like waking up early, but I don't like waking up early WITH CHILDREN!!! My zombie-ness is intensified by the fact that Zoe wakes up about three times in the night, and Daisy wails like a banshee for hours in her sleep (and has for the past two+ years). We're not sure what the deal is with Daisy. We used to think she cried all night because of her ear infections, so we had tubes put in her ears. Then we thought it must be because of her tonsils, so we had them removed. Yet, she still cries. Whatever it is, she causes some very long nights and some very early mornings.

Fact #6: A few weeks ago I had the mysterious thing on my eyelid removed. I did not have to go to an eye surgeon. Instead, I went to a different dermatologist to get a second opinion, and he was like, "I don't know what it is, but I can slice it off if you want." And I was all, "Even though you're not an eye surgeon?" and he looked at me all weird and said, "Uhhhh..... yup!" And I said, "But won't I need stitches and an eye patch and end up all deformed looking?" (because that's what the other dermatologist said), and he was like, "Uhhhh..... nope!"

Fact #7: So the dude took a little slice into my eyelid and removed a strange black ball. It looked kind of like a poppy seed.

Fact #8: After the lab got a hold of it, they determined that it was a...

Drum roll, please...

Irritated hair follicle. What the?!?

Fact #9: By "irritated hair follicle" I would assume "ingrown hair" or "folliculitis." But that can't be what it was. I wanted to ask some questions, but the messenger never really knows anything, and I have very little hope for getting in touch with the doctor or the lab without getting a bill for a few hundred dollars, so as long as I don't have cancer (and I don't), I will just let it remain a mystery.

Fact #10: It turns out that having a needle in your eyelid really isn't too bad. 

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

The Incredible Shrinking Fruit

A month ago, when I put this in my diaper bag, it was an orange.

June 2013

Found anything interesting in your bag lately?